Life in Stumptown

I have so much I should be doing right now, but unfortunately I must have been overly sleepy when I gathered my stuff to nanny this morning.  I left my notecards for my policy paper, my assignment for my case consultation, and don’t have the internet on my laptop to download the genogram program.  So, I figured blogging would be a nice use of my time, especially since I’ve been bugging Elena to blog, she actually has, and now I’m behind

Two week/weekends ago was a very social time for me.  Sarah says something to this extent as she talks about the eb and flow of her social life, but I don’t remember the exact phrase.  Anyhow, the week was filled with a tea date with Elena, a dinner date with Amanda, and a Grey’s Anatomy date with Bethany.  That Friday night was Elena’s birthday.  We went cosmic bowling, which took me back to journalism trips to Kent State in high school.  It was lots of fun.  I met some of Elena’s new friends from work, and Bethany, Nicole, and Amanda were able to come too.  Eventually I might upload the highly emo and hilarious pictures from my camera courtesy of Amanda and Nicole, but I’m not on my laptop right now, so you’ll have to use your imagination.

Saturday morning was the Women’s Forum at Imago.  It was absolutely fantastic.  Bekah and I drove together, but I sat at a table with Amanda and Sarah.  I loved meeting new people and spending time with all the girls.  Harriet is a woman in our home community who was the main speaker.  She’s fabulous.  I want to just sit next to her and absorb her wisdom.  The topic was sexuality, which, let’s face it, is bold to be talking about in church, but necessary in my opinion.  I loved that it wasn’t just limited to once you’re married.  It encompassed singleness, abuse, and other just as vital topics.  There was a forum of five women from an OBGYN to a woman whose husband cheated on her after 30 years of marriage and she re-entered the dating world.  The format was excellent with the mix of the forum, lessons from Harriet rooted in scripture, and small group discussions led by a host at each table.  You can check out the whole forum via podcast if you’d like.  Go here and click the link for audio.

After the forum, Bekah drove me to my eye doctor appointment on campus and we grabbed lunch afterward.  We relaxed for a bit in the afternoon and then went to the Laurelwood Pub with Beth, Elena, and Sarah for dinner, followed by dessert at Bleuet, a frozen yogurt shop with mix-ins like Coldstone.  Sunday of course meant church and the grocery store for me, and then I went to Bethany’s to make our contribution to the home community potluck.  Bekah met us over there and we drove to HC together.  Rob and I are really liking this new home community.  There’s a great mix of ages and stages in life.  Everyone is really kind and interested in getting to know us.  After home community, we all went to get Rob at the airport, which was of course the highlight of my day   I was really glad to have him home in Portland.

And that’s pretty much where being social ended.  This past week/weekend was filled with trying to catch up on school work.  I have a big policy paper due a week from Wednesday for which I have to research a policy having to do with poverty (I’m doing the Housing and Community Development Act of 1974, which developed Section Eight…I had to write out the word because an 8 and a ) makes a sunglass smiley face) and in another paper later I will have to analyze it.  I have a few small assignments like writing up a case consultation for a client to share with my practice class, the normal reading logs, and I need to do a consumer interview for someone who has utilized a service which supposedly doesn’t exist anymore.  Don’t even get me started on that last one.  I’m going on a retreat this week with CWS, so I need to get ahead.  But that also means I have most of tomorrow to work on my paper instead of seeing clients, so it should be okay.  Mila sleeps a lot, so I got a lot of reading done today and Friday.

Beth is out of town this week (Palm Springs, CA) so the house has been quiet with just Bekah and me.  Rob’s coming over to make us dinner tonight…chicken, of course!  Specialty #2.  I shouldn’t joke, we’ve actually been making lots of new/fun dishes lately.  And tomorrow I’m having dinner with Sarah at one of her favorite restaurants that I don’t remember the name of.

And, I think that’s all for now…

I have a wedding dress!!  On Saturday Amanda, Bekah, Beth, Bethany, Elena, Sarah, and I went to David’s Bridal for the afternoon.  The entire afternoon.  And I found a lovely wedding gown that I brought home with me!  If you’d like to see a picture and your name is not Rob, I’d be happy to email you.  For the extra fluffy numbers that didn’t make the cut, see facebook.  We tried to find bridesmaid dresses too, but after lots of attempts, I just wasn’t satisfied with the color options.  Elena has been helping me look online at other options, but we haven’t had much luck thus far.  Let me know if you have any pointers!

Rob has been in Ohio and has been able to look into places.  So far, he really likes the super cheap and flexible church, which is awesome.  He does not like the Clintonville Women’s Club.  He says he is positive I will absolutely agree on both of these notes.  I trust he knows me well enough.  He loves Confluence Park.  He’ll meet with them on Thursday at 11:00.  We’re thinking mid-August.  I should know more later in the week…I’ll keep you posted!

Nine nights ago I was sitting in Rob’s car talking about the job situation which seemed hopeless at the time.  For whatever reason, I wasn’t giving him much sympathy.  I told him to look back on what God has been doing.

He prepared both of our hearts for seven months to be ready for the other’s.  We weren’t ready in December.  It wouldn’t have worked.  God had to take me to a place where I had accepted being single before I could be ready for a relationship.  Emily and Mike were the first couple that I could truly say I was happy for without jealousy.  And he had his own things to work through too.  If we weren’t friends first, it would not have worked for a variety of reasons.  God’s timing seemed crazy when we decided to date each other two weeks before I was moving.  But, Rob had just graduated, didn’t have a job, and had the freedom and desire to move away from home.  Starting a relationship on the phone is not fun, but we had already spent seven months hanging out.  We were comfortable with each other.  The phone presented a venue for really good conversation and getting into the deep stuff.  We were able to have an amazing week when he visited Portland, which also solidified so many issues.

God’s perfect timing lead Rob to accept an extremely well paying summer job instead of staying in New Orleans like his original plan.  New Orleans wasn’t the environment he expected it to be (in terms of people and work ethic) and he had to weigh if it was worth being there.  This allowed him to save a great deal of money and the timeline worked out perfectly for him to move over my summer break.  Portland is teaching us both so many amazing different lessons, from what it’s like to live far from home, being immursed in a culture that is much different from the Midwest, and being part of Imago, which is the perfect church for both of us, and that means a lot for Rob.  We have found wonderful friends and roommates, which seem like a new family.  God put two amazing women in mine and Beth’s life, and when we could only pick one, Bethany has turned out to be such a great roommate for Rob.  Clearly, God has had some plans.  Even when the two of them struggled to find a place to live, patience proved that God had one in mind.  A little bit of faith goes a long way.

Rob’s job search has been a huge burden and sense of frustration.  He’s done countless resumes and cover letters which seem to be fruitless efforts.  It’s hard to be in a new city, know almost no one, and feel purposeless when everyone is at work all day.  It always happens in those moments though when you truly lift your hands up and put it into God’s that things start to come together.  Learning to accept that we aren’t in control is hard.  But, it was an hour after he sent me an email saying just this in November that he got called for an interview at Costco.  This of course was the new venue for Rob to take on the fight against materialism.  And more important, it allowed us to go home for Christmas since it was a seasonal position.  This was especially important because Rob was able to see his aunt one last time, who past away last night.  The week we got back, Rob was called in for two interviews.  And ten days ago he was offered a job in Child Protective Services.

This isn’t his choice job.  But the pay is phenomenal (for social work) and the benefits are even better.  You really just can’t beat full coverage with five dollar doctor visits.  And let’s face it, the man has a heart for child welfare whether he’d like to admit it or not.  The sentence that starts with a complaint ends with a passion filled speech.  And, this job allowed him to go home this week to be with his family in a very hard time.

So, turns out God was guiding my words when I had no sympathy to offer.  Rob went home that night with those thoughts in his heart, and again, truly handing it over to the Lord.  And the next morning, he was hired.  What’s that they say about mustard seeds?  PTL (translation: praise the Lord).

This is not a good title when it’s only the end of week one, huh?  I don’t feel like being in school right now.  I don’t feel like having homework.  I feel like hanging out with friends, playing in Portland, and planning a wedding.  I have senioritis again.  I shouldn’t complain; I do really like my classes.

I have Poverty Programs and Policies.  The teacher for this is a PhD student who is the executive director of a national coalition for the Death with Dignity policy.  She wrote the legislation for this for the state of Washington and has a whole other slough of experience on her resume.  I’m really excited to learn from her!

I have my practice class, which is the same professor and class from last quarter.  We’re going to do a lot on Bowen’s family of origin theory and work through our own family histories to apply this theory.

My last class is not what I expected.  It’s called something about family/child teams.  I thought it would just be about working in groups, specific to families.  No.  Apparently it’s taught by a person in the field who has oodles of experience in social work, but has never taught before.  She’s super nice and chipper, but I’m not certain she knows what she’s doing as a teacher.  And the class is all about this meeting format that’s used in Oregon child welfare.  But, apparently it’s failing.  I’m still unclear.  Anyhow, not what I expected.  Hopefully I’ll be able to gain some knowledge on skills that are transferable.

In general, I’m just stressing because my text books that I ordered online haven’t arrived yet.  The bookstore was closed today.  The library (PSU and Multnomah County) didn’t have them.  Powell’s (the gigantic bookstore here) had one.  So, I read that in the store today and borrowed the other two that I have stuff due on from Stacy.  Agh.  I’m frustrated and impatient.  Not only do I not feel like doing my homework, I don’t feel like going on a scavenger hunt for it either.

Starting today, I have a new job. I’ve actually been writing all these blogs while at the new job. I’m a nanny for a three month old baby named Amelie (Mila). She’s the sweetest little thing and we’ve been doing a lot of sleeping and eating with some playing and reading in between. She’s currently snoozing on my lap.

It’s pretty much the greatest job ever. I get to hold a baby all day while I blog (or in the future, read text books and plan a wedding). So, I’ll be here on Mondays and Fridays, interning on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and school on Wednesdays. Weekends off unless I am on call with PWCL or take shifts there or at Columbia Care. We’re doing this for three months and then the Mila’s mom and dad are going to reevaluate their budget. Normal childcare is much cheaper and I feel very blessed that they chose me over that. I have a steady job for the whole quarter!!

Oh yeah, that other thing I’ve been doing a lot of lately…

Rob and I haven’t picked a date yet; we’re trying to pick a place first and then a date on their availability. But, we’re thinking July or August of this year. I have The Knot–Ohio and Columbus Bride which gave me wonderful lists of places to choose from. We’ve spent a lot of time researching and narrowing down our options. We’re waiting on one place to email us back with prices and then we’ll probably be a lot closer to choosing. Right now, here are the options:

Clintonville Women’s Club — overlooking the Park of Roses and the ravines
Confluence Park — overlooking the downtown skyline
North Bank Park Pavillion — overlooking the downtown skyline
Berwick Manor — this one’s probably going to get the boot actually…
Ohio Village Church — a beautiful recreation of a Civil War era church from the Ohio Historical Society
Westerville Community United Church of Christ — a really good option because it’s pretty and they are flexible and oober cheap
Maple Room — a room in the Westerville Community Center that is an option for the reception

That’s about all the planning we’ve done other than just general brainstorming. I’m going to go dress shopping this weekend with the girls. And in case you’re curious, here’s who is in the wedding so far:

Maid of Honor: Bethany Lawson
Bridesmaids: Jenn Oh, Elena Gomez, Emily Beck, Sarah Wetmore, and Amanda Westmoreland
Best Man: Josh Schultz
Groomsmen: Mark Hoggarth, Tyler Forsythe, Derek Stegall, Kim Sandbrink, and Paul Schnapp
Ceremony Officiator: Mike Berry
Flower Girls: Carmen Berry, Jaala Berry, Vita Stegall
Ring Bearers: Andre Berry, Matthew Herman, Manny Stegall, Andrew Herman
Ushers: Matt and Meggie Schultz
Scripture Reader: Crystal Berry
Musicians: Michael Wooddell and Bekah Simpson
Guest Book Duty: Jamie Nance-James and Laura Theis
Photographer: Mike Cuccarese
As long as the date works out for her schedule cake maker: Mrs. Gomez

So, with bride magazines, one planning book, and an account on The Knot, the planning continues…

Unfortunately, I came down with something and spent the first day and a half that I was home completely out of it. Rob was really sweet and took care of me though. I was also really, really sad because after being there for Matthew and Andrew’s births, it was really hard not to be there for Lily’s. Lillian Grace was born December 29th. I think I’m avoiding reality because calling my family makes me even more sad.

Anyhow, I’ve slowly started back to reality this past week as I had a few appointments with clients at my internship and worked a few days at the crisis line. But, there’s still been plenty of time to just hang out. Rob and Bethany hosted for New Years. We had a full Christmas dinner in honor of Bethany who didn’t get to go home for Christmas. I was so proud of Rob. He made a 20 pound turkey, which was the best one I’ve ever had, and it was the first time he’s ever done it! We just hung out, played board games, and Bethany (who is from Tennessee) taught us how to line dance.

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Bethany and I had a sleepover afterward. She, Rob, and I spent New Years Day hanging around the house and then out and about looking for a ping pong table, N64 games, and white lights on sale from Christmas for our wedding. I was pretty excited about that last idea. We didn’t find many, but Elena’s super and found a bunch which she’s leaving in Ohio for me!

On Friday night Bekah, Sarah, Bethany, Rob, and I went out to the Doug Fir for a bit for drinks and dessert. It was really fun. The Doug Fir makes me feel like I’m in a ski lodge in the 70s. Very Portland. It was also really great to go back to Imago when we hadn’t been there for so long. And Bethany, Rob, and I tried out Bekah’s home community on Sunday night. Everyone was really friendly and engaged us in conversation afterward. We really, really liked it and are definitely going to go back. After HC, we played a little bit of ping pong, had an impromptu dance party, and a snowball fight that I bailed on. It’s so nice to be back in Portland with my friends

Wow — December truly flew by!  There was so much I wanted to do from the Zoo Lights and Peacock Lane lights to reading social work and fun books that I just didn’t get to.  Oh well…it was a great month!

Rob and I made it back to the Midwest…and very fortunately, actually.  Portland got hit with a bunch of snow the day we were leaving.  Our flight was the last one out of PDX before they closed the airport for 24 hours.  Now, that’s a Christmas miracle.  We felt so blessed.  We were delayed in Chicago for three hours and made it into Indy at about 3:00 AM, home to Kristin and Mike’s by 4:00.  Kristin is Rob’s sister and I feel very much at home there every time we visit.  Why go to bed right away?  We stood around the kitchen island talking for a bit and snacking on their dinner leftovers right out of the pans.  This is most likely why I feel at home there.  We stayed with the Berrys for about a day and a half.  I think we maybe left the house once that Sunday, just to run out and get stuff for dinner.  It was a fantastic day spent lounging, cooking, and playing with the kids.  If you’re around, we’ll show you how to play a mean game of Hide and Seek!  And if you ever need to know how to win over the hearts of little girls, ask them to be your flower girls.  It’s not hard to fall in love with Rob’s nieces and nephew — Crystal, Carmen, Jaala, and Andred.  And believe it or not, I think they took to me pretty quickly too.  I’m referred to as Aunt Ali, seats next to me at dinner are a hot commodity, and when Rob teasingly told everyone but the kids we were out of his club, Carmen claimed, “If Ali’s out, then I’m out.”  I feel pretty special to be a part of their family!

From Indy he headed to Columbus.  Almost immediately upon arrival, Mr. and Mrs. Schultz, Josh, Rob, and me went to Starbucks.  The Schultz family is pretty big on afternoon trips for coffee.  I like this about them   Rob’s friend Kim came over for dinner that night and we watched a movie.  I should add that by the time we hit Indy the wedding planning excitement hit me and during all of the lounging/movie time on this trip I was intensely searching for ceremony/reception venues.  Mrs. Schultz has been so helpful with this!  After planning her two daughters’ weddings in Columbus, she has learned a thing or two.  We spent a lot of time with her the next day going to look at places.  Rob’s friend Tyler and his girlfriend Sharisse came over for dinner that night.  It was nice that we were able to fit some time for friends in, but not interrupt the limited time we had with family.

On Christmas Eve we headed down to Kentucky, had lunch with Dad, John, and the boys and then hopped back into the car with Dad and Matthew to Dayton.  We picked up Cris and Mike from the airport and didn’t get far before we pulled into Skyline!!  Rob and I weren’t even hungry, but who could resist a three way and a cheese coney?!  We split a little one and bought a case of chili to take home.  It felt so good to walk into my brother’s house with all of the suitcases.  It just felt like what everyone coming home for Christmas should.  Going along with tradition, we had Chinese food for Christmas Eve dinner.   We broke out a little champaign and my dad gave a beautiful toast to Rob’s and my engagement.  And later in the evening we joined Cris and Mike to go to Mike’s mom Brenda’s house.  His brother, sister-in-law, nephews, and niece were in town.  We spent time talking for a bit and then went to Brenda’s church for Christmas Eve service.  It was a beautiful church that she had been going to for 42 years!  The congregation is small and everyone knows everyone.  People remembered me from when I was a little girl at my sister’s wedding — unbelievable!  Rob and Michael had an impromtu bonding experience on the way home as they changed the flat tire that we got.  I believe six minutes was the final count.  Very impressive.

Christmas was busy with the Herman family this year.  Rob and I spent most of the morning in the kitchen working on our contribution to dinner, which turned out fabulous I’ll say completely void of humility.

Aside from being the first Christmas in a while that everyone was home for, I think it might have been our biggest Christmas ever — Dad, Cris, Mike, John, Renee, Matthew, Andrew, Rob, me, Brenda, Joey, Julie, Samuel, Mikah, Abby, Kathy, and George.

The day after Christmas we drove back to Columbus to have Christmas with Rob’s family.  We started at his Grandma’s house for brunch with his aunts, uncles, and cousins.  After that we went back to his parents’ home and spent the day with his mom, dad, the Berry family, the Stegall family (his sister Rebecca, her husband Derek, and their kids Vita and Manny), and Josh.  His sisters and mom are so great — they took me out to buy bride magazines!  On the way home from Columbus, we stopped in Mason for the annual girls’ night Christmas party.  It was a small crowd this year — Bethany, Janice, Alli, Erin, Patti, and Lauren.  We just chatted for a bit since it was right on our way.

We had one more day left with my family.  We played with the boys in the morning.  Bethany and her boyfriend Owen came over for a bit.  And then we went to get lunch, dessert at Servatti’s, and to Ault Park with Dad, Cris, Mike, and Matthew.

After the park, we had to pack up.  We had coffee with my dad on our way out of town.  It’s getting harder to leave every time I go home.  I’m in love with my life in Portland and know God put Rob and me there for a reason, but it’s really hard to be far away from family.  We hung out with Mike and Josh in Indy that night and were up by 4:00 AM to catch our flight home.