Life in Stumptown

I love fall.  I love the changing leaves, the crisp air, and anything pumpkin flavored.  It is certainly my favorite season.  It’s been sad that there aren’t as many deciduous trees here as there are in the midwest, but it’s beautiful regardless.  There’s a small Buckeye football shaped hole in my heart too.  But, the thing that is so tied into fall for me that is not lacking is a new beginning.  Everything starts in the fall.  School has always started in the fall.  I started being an RA in the fall.  I started my first job in the fall.  And now I’m starting a marriage in the fall.  I always associate fall with being that “new season of life.”

Rob and I are really settling into marriage these days.  The honeymoon is over.  We both have new jobs.  We’re trying to find our daily routines.  It’s been an interesting adjustment.  We don’t just see our friends all the time from living with them like we used to.  We are trying to balance the amount of time we spend time with others, with just us time, with work, and anything else we want to do.  Rob doesn’t get home until 7:30 during the week (he works four 10s), so evenings go quickly.  We often feel like we just go, go, go and never stop.  We feel like we’re constantly late.  And yet, we’re just not even doing that much.  We were doing a school of theology class on Tuesday nights, but it just got to be too much.  We LOVED the class, but decided it just wasn’t worth both of us showing up late, me with dinner for both of us in hand, and realizing we always forgot to do the homework.  We’re very excited for an Advent Conspiracy book group that is coming up.  Imago is breaking into small groups to go through the book Pastor Rick co-wrote with other pastors who do Advent Conspiracy also.  Beth is leading a group.  We’re pumped that we get to do an activity we want to and it will give us an excuse to hang out with one of our friends once a week.

We also end up relaxing a lot.  I feel very boring when I tell people what’s going on with me.  There’s really not much to report on.  But, it turns out, I don’t really care.  It’s nice to just spend time with my husband in our apartment.  I know this sounds very contradicting (relaxing a lot and always feeling busy), maybe it is.  Whatever it is, I’m really enjoying the season of just being newlyweds.  For the first time in a long time, there’s nothing around the corner.  Not graduation, job searching, applying to schools, planning a move, planning a wedding, or anything.  It’s just go to work, spend time with people I love, and I just have now until forever to do so.

A friend of mine once told me that she feels like her time at Imago has brought her a lot of healing from a very legalistic past.  I’m starting to feel similarly at my new job.

I think the world of child welfare can be very damaging to a social worker.  A broken system with jaded workers can lead to a toxic environment.  It’s too easy to begin treating the population we are supposed to be serving with disdain, disrespect, and just all around very poorly.  A classmate of mine once said a goal of hers is to only say things in front of staff that she would be comfortable saying in front of the client.  What a reasonable, and yet, lofty goal.

The world of domestic violence has proven to be very different from day one.  This is something I noticed at my internship and my part time job last year.  VOA is no different.  I’ve caught myself being annoyed that someone was calling me over and over when the situation was clearly not a crisis.  I soon felt very convicted when I realized other staff don’t feel that way at all.  They take it for what it is.  The person felt she had an urgent need and was trying her best to take care of it.  I was in court all day and couldn’t do anything about it.  It is what it is.  Nothing further.  I totally recognize that venting, “can you believe this stories,” and everything else can be chucked into the “trying to deal with the stress of my job” category, but it seems the movement against DV has some better solutions.  I think the term “self-care” is tossed around several times per day.  At CWS, they take off an hour and a half early one day each month.  PWCL and VOA offer vicarious trauma groups during work hours.  VOA starts all staff meetings by giving an update of your personal life and work life.

Regardless of what makes the difference, there is a clear difference in agency culture.  I am surrounded by passionate, dedicated individuals who are stoked to end domestic violence.  They are energized, sincere, and humble.  No one really appears to be on a power trip.  It is so refreshing.  I think this is going to be a great growing experience for me, both professionally and personally.