Life in Stumptown

I love fall.  I love the changing leaves, the crisp air, and anything pumpkin flavored.  It is certainly my favorite season.  It’s been sad that there aren’t as many deciduous trees here as there are in the midwest, but it’s beautiful regardless.  There’s a small Buckeye football shaped hole in my heart too.  But, the thing that is so tied into fall for me that is not lacking is a new beginning.  Everything starts in the fall.  School has always started in the fall.  I started being an RA in the fall.  I started my first job in the fall.  And now I’m starting a marriage in the fall.  I always associate fall with being that “new season of life.”

Rob and I are really settling into marriage these days.  The honeymoon is over.  We both have new jobs.  We’re trying to find our daily routines.  It’s been an interesting adjustment.  We don’t just see our friends all the time from living with them like we used to.  We are trying to balance the amount of time we spend time with others, with just us time, with work, and anything else we want to do.  Rob doesn’t get home until 7:30 during the week (he works four 10s), so evenings go quickly.  We often feel like we just go, go, go and never stop.  We feel like we’re constantly late.  And yet, we’re just not even doing that much.  We were doing a school of theology class on Tuesday nights, but it just got to be too much.  We LOVED the class, but decided it just wasn’t worth both of us showing up late, me with dinner for both of us in hand, and realizing we always forgot to do the homework.  We’re very excited for an Advent Conspiracy book group that is coming up.  Imago is breaking into small groups to go through the book Pastor Rick co-wrote with other pastors who do Advent Conspiracy also.  Beth is leading a group.  We’re pumped that we get to do an activity we want to and it will give us an excuse to hang out with one of our friends once a week.

We also end up relaxing a lot.  I feel very boring when I tell people what’s going on with me.  There’s really not much to report on.  But, it turns out, I don’t really care.  It’s nice to just spend time with my husband in our apartment.  I know this sounds very contradicting (relaxing a lot and always feeling busy), maybe it is.  Whatever it is, I’m really enjoying the season of just being newlyweds.  For the first time in a long time, there’s nothing around the corner.  Not graduation, job searching, applying to schools, planning a move, planning a wedding, or anything.  It’s just go to work, spend time with people I love, and I just have now until forever to do so.

A friend of mine once told me that she feels like her time at Imago has brought her a lot of healing from a very legalistic past.  I’m starting to feel similarly at my new job.

I think the world of child welfare can be very damaging to a social worker.  A broken system with jaded workers can lead to a toxic environment.  It’s too easy to begin treating the population we are supposed to be serving with disdain, disrespect, and just all around very poorly.  A classmate of mine once said a goal of hers is to only say things in front of staff that she would be comfortable saying in front of the client.  What a reasonable, and yet, lofty goal.

The world of domestic violence has proven to be very different from day one.  This is something I noticed at my internship and my part time job last year.  VOA is no different.  I’ve caught myself being annoyed that someone was calling me over and over when the situation was clearly not a crisis.  I soon felt very convicted when I realized other staff don’t feel that way at all.  They take it for what it is.  The person felt she had an urgent need and was trying her best to take care of it.  I was in court all day and couldn’t do anything about it.  It is what it is.  Nothing further.  I totally recognize that venting, “can you believe this stories,” and everything else can be chucked into the “trying to deal with the stress of my job” category, but it seems the movement against DV has some better solutions.  I think the term “self-care” is tossed around several times per day.  At CWS, they take off an hour and a half early one day each month.  PWCL and VOA offer vicarious trauma groups during work hours.  VOA starts all staff meetings by giving an update of your personal life and work life.

Regardless of what makes the difference, there is a clear difference in agency culture.  I am surrounded by passionate, dedicated individuals who are stoked to end domestic violence.  They are energized, sincere, and humble.  No one really appears to be on a power trip.  It is so refreshing.  I think this is going to be a great growing experience for me, both professionally and personally.

I very much enjoyed Rick’s sermon today.  We’re doing a several week stint on STORY (creation, covenenant, Christ, community, Kingdom).  Today was covenant for which we read through Deuteronomy 30.  Basically Rick talked about how God utilizes marriage and family to illustrate His covenant with us.  A covenant that we are encouraged to take part in through love, rather than duty or obligation.  He reminded us that this should be the same in marriage.  That we should serve and give of ourselves through love, not duty and obligation.  He talked about how God uses these relationships to shape us as more Godly people — truly putting others before ourselves.  He gave the example of a mother whose kids are grown up and how selfless she might be.  I know this may not be true of every mother who has kids who are grown up, but I immediately thought of my mother-in-law.  Especially after Rob’s parents came to stay with us last week, I can see how Rob’s mom just radiates care for others.  It literally just pours out of her.

Rick’s sermon totally caused me to check myself and consider if my newly married life reflects God’s story for His people.  Am I serving my husband selflessly?  Rick kept mentioning free time, illuding to the fact that when you’re married or have a family, you don’t always get to choose what to do with your time.  Come to think of it, I really did used to have much more free time 2 years ago, but I don’t really know why.  Just this morning when I was making the bed I was kind of mourning the loss of my comforter.  I have this perfect down comforter that I’ve had for 3+ years.  I think it’s just cool enough in the summer and just warm enough in the winter.  Rob has requested we get a new comforter since we just purchased a larger bed.  Makes sense.  He also hates that comforter and says it is way too hot.  I can’t fathom how he doesn’t like it because I love it so much.  I’m genuinely sad that I have to start sleeping with a new comforter.  Yes, this seems ridiculously silly and I quickly wrapped up my pity party and thought, “I don’t really care that I’m going to be sleeping with a new comforter because I also get to married to Rob, and needless to say, that just so entirely trumps the comforter.”  It was just this sort of moment where I realized my life isn’t my own anymore.  I don’t get to make each and every decision.  I get my way a lot and sometimes I don’t.  I get to weigh in on all of the big stuff that we decide together.  But, at the end of the day, God calls me to love Rob and put him before myself.

It’s the same way that we live when we walk with Christ.  We may plan our steps, but the Lord directs our path.  We are called to lay down our own lives for a greater purpose.  How blessed I feel that I get to witness Christ’s story in my own marriage.  And how blessed I feel that I can look to others who are further down the road than myself, and merely pray, that God will get me there someday.

I’m sitting at the corner pew (yes, pew rather than a booth) at Peet’s on Broadway — one of my favorite places in Portland.  Especially on beautiful fall days like this one when people are out and about in hats and scarves, but soaking up every ounce of sunshine there is since the rainy season is starting up.  There’s a Street Roots vendor on the corner and some red/orange/green oak trees down the way.  Lovely sites through the window while my pumkin flavored coffee keeps me warm   The best part — I don’t feel guilty that I’m sitting here on a Sunday afternoon doing exactly this.  Why?  Because I do not have a paper due or a job to find.  Weekends are mine again, guilt free.

My poor husband on the other hand is at home attempting to close 11 cases from the job he supposedly finished at on Wednesday so he can focus on his new job that he started on Thursday.  It was a big week for the Schultz family since we both started our new jobs.  The verdict: we love them!

I started mine on Tuesday.  I work in an old bungalow on the second floor.  I share my cozy office with 1, kind of 2, other people.  The second is moving to a new place soon and does a  lot of work from home.  It’s the best work space I’ve ever had and everyone there thinks it’s tiny.  It’s not a cubicle!  I have my own desk, phone, and computer.  This is more than I could say in the past.  There’s a window, a slanted bungalow ceiling, and the walls are painted pale yellow.  I have plenty of desk space (which is even my favorite color wood) and drawer space.  I get a work cell phone, which I imagine will come in handy.   It’s exactly what I loved about PWCL…going to work is more fun when it’s in a homey house!  The vibe is very much the same as PWCL and CWS — lots of friendly and cheerful women who are pumped to end violence and bring baked goods to work.  It makes me happy.  I’m getting trained by my direct supervisor who also does some direct service like mine.  She’s actually from Cincinnati, went to St. Xaiver, and moved here after college.  Small world!  It is probably the most relevant and thorough training I’ve ever had and I’m feeling ready to start already.

I will be taking on 8-12 families who are post crisis and ready to obtain housing.  I will work with them for about six months, can help them with their bills while they catch up or are preparing to start life over and I also provide them with case mananagement, linking them to other helpful services.  I’m a little nervous about my budget (because it is ginormous and I’m in charge of it…all by myself), but I’m sure it will be fine.  The thing that really blows my mind is that I just take cases whenever I feel ready and take on more when I feel like I can.  Essentially, I choose my own referrals.  What?!?!  No pile of 5 cases on day one?  Weird.

I’ll also being co-facilitating a support group on Monday nights, working in the restraining order room at the court house one morning per week, and helping out with a DV class designed for women in the child welfare system once per month.  There’s tons of opportunities for support (it’s the focus of staff meetings and there’s a vicarious trauma group once per month) and for training!  The woman before me (her name is Nancy…second Nancy I’ve come after recently) was oober organized and as I look at her systems, they reflect what I would design.  It’s almost creepy.  I think I’m really going to like it!

Rob is starting a brand new job (as in the position was created with stimulus money) and basically gets to read through this grant and start figuring out all of the ways he can use the money because there’s a great deal of money to be used.  He’s psyched.  The best part is his vacation package.  14 days his first year plus the week of Christmas and New Years off and paid.  Crazy!

Overall, it’s just quite a relief to be employeed

On the way to church this morning, Rob asked me if I knew that Sweetest Day was yesterday?  It surprised me that he knew that Sweetest Day was yesterday.  In the following five minutes we mutally concluded that Sweetest Day is clearly a “Hallmark Holiday,” that exists solely to benefit the candy and card industry.  I added that it is also a way for teenaged girls with boyfriends to make teenaged girls without boyfriends feel not good about themselves.  That may have just been tormented middle school memories on my part, though.  Anyhow, I looked it up and am fascinated that it seems to be a regional holiday.

See here.

Apparently, candy companies started Sweetest Day in the 1920s and it has only really taken off in the Great Lakes region.  Thus, my new mission is to see if I can find anyone native to Portland (or another area of the country) even knows of its existence.  I’ll let you know what I find!

This should not be news to anyone.  So, before I attempt to blog regularly, I feel the need to list what happened in between the wedding and now.

We spent 10 glorious days in Hawaii.  MMMmmm I want to go back and the Portland rain has not even started yet.

We got settled in our new apartment, which we L-O-V-E.  It was a great find and we feel very blessed to have it and to have everything in it!  Wedding presents rock.

Rob went back to work.  He still hates his job.

I apply for jobs.  And still watch Mila.  And in between, I cook a lot.  I love our new kitchen stuff.  I love cooking for my husband.  Usually it goes something like this: “Self, I’m bored of writing this cover letter to the community mental health place that is never going to higher me.  I think I’ll make cupcakes instead.”

After realizing that I’m an extreme extrovert and being alone all day applying for jobs is damaging to my mental health, I started having coffee/applying for jobs with all of my other unemployed friends.

I took pictures of Mila for her 1st birthday!

I took headshots of Bekah the actress…although I have yet to edit them.

We went to the Alberta Street Fair/Last Thursday/The Pittock Mansion/and are just enjoying the free time we now have to explore Portland more.

We went to Seattle…for free!  Well, the hotel was free!  We had a BLAST!

And this week…

WE GOT JOBS!!  Praise the Lord!

Rob applied for 1 job, got called for an interview 4 days later.  He loved it!  They offered him not the job he applied for, but a better one!  He will be working with homeless families to get them housing and supervising the volunteers at Impact NW.  He immediately accepted and then walked to his supervisor’s office to put in his two weeks.  I got offered a job the next day.  I will be a transitional services advocate at Volunteers of America Oregon Home Free, which is their domestic violence program.  I will be working with women who have left their abusers, but are no longer in crisis.  I will be able to offer them funding for housing and also case management.   I will also have the opportunity to do a support group.

I start October 13th, so I’m trying to get caught up on odds and ends in the mean time…

A big THANK YOU to everyone who has kept us in your prayers!

I flew home to Columbus to get hitched…

Wedding Week Event #1: Bridal Shower hosted by my new mother and sisters in law!!

My new mom, sisters, and nieces!

Three of my very best friends.

Wedding Week Event #2: Bachelorette Party hosted by my maid of honor, Bethany!!

Obligatory WC trip to the Cone!

Dub C Girls

Ribbon Bouquet made by Miss Simpson and Miss Oh!

The Panty Personality Game

Wedding Week Event #3: Manicures and Pedicures!

Wedding Week Event #4: The Rehearsal/Rehearsal Dinner!

Wedding Day!!!

I’m getting married in 9 days.  A lifetime of anticipation is coming to a head.  I can remember conversations with my best friend in the third grade, Amy Kempf.  (Rob and I have determined that before the age of 18, everyone has a first a last name, both of which are always used.  i.e. Wes Hedon is 80% sure he helped Rob light a fire on the bus in the 7th grade).  Anyway, I believe I was nine-years-old the whenI started planning my wedding.  The arrangements have changed a little.  I will not be getting married in Paris.  I will not be throwing my bouquet off the Eiffel Tower.  And the bridesmaids’ dresses are not lavender (but close!).

Wedding planning has taken over my days since graduation.  I’ve decided (and felt very called to) intentionally enjoy this time, focus on planning the wedding, and start applying to jobs after we get back from Hawaii.  Resting has always been a challenge for me, but I know it’s also very necessary.  I’ve been trying really hard and I’d like to say I’m getting a little better at it.  I’m sure this will be an ongoing challenge.  I did set one day aside to visit the coast by myself and spend time in prayer before the wedding.  It was wonderful and much needed.  For the most part, aside from watching Mila two days a week, the occasional shift at PWCL, and visits from Rob’s parents and my dad, I’ve spent my time making favors, programs, table name cards, shopping for necessary items, creating playlists, and ironing out the details.  It’s been lovely.  Everyone has been so helpful.  Bekah, Bethany, and Amanda have had somewhat flexible summer schedules so I’ve been able to spend a great deal of quality time with them which has been just great.  I’m so thankful to have such solid and strong friendships, especially at this time in life.  I feel like I’ve also had the freedom in my schedule to have some pretty solid phone time friends and family from home which is so important to me.

I’ve also spent a great deal of my time alone, which leaves me alone with my thoughts possibly more than ever — in life.  And this is the conclusion I’ve come to.  I am absolutely full of aniticipation like I’ve never felt before.  I cannot wait to get on the plane to Ohio on Saturday.  I cannot wait to see so many women I love at my bridal shower on Sunday.  I cannot wait to see my dad on Tuesday.  I cannot wait to meet my niece for the very first time on Wednesday.  I cannot wait for my bachelorette sleepover at the Lawson’s on Thursday.  MMMmmm that house is home to me   I cannot wait for everyone to arrive on Friday.  I cannot wait to thank everyone who has so generously helped at the rehearsal dinner on Saturday.  And beyond any of this, I cannot wait to marry the love of my life on Sunday.  I cannot wait to be a bride walking down the aisle to meet my groom at the alter, which brings me to my point.  I can only imagine that this anticipation I am filled with to meet my groom is a tiny, bit of the anticipation we feel for Christ to return and to spend eternity in Heaven.  Our entire lives are spent anticipating our greater purpose and we will not be content until that day.  So, I’m sitting in anticipation.  And I’m loving it.  It is the most vivid reminder I’ve felt of what we are truly anticipating.  It is just one of the many ways that I already see God using marriage to reflect Christ’s love and relationship with the church.  MMmm…I can’t help but smile

This post is brought to you by me, Rob, not Ali. Ali is too busy studying to pay attention to her blog fans…so I am taking up the task of letting everyone know how exciting our lives are…broadcasting live from Panera in the Hollywood District of Portland, Oregon…this is “Life in Stumptown”PS the title is making fun of a sign we saw at a St Helens hotel.

The date, May 22, 2009, the task: obtain the greatest camera ever made. Status: Complete. This is our new camera:

Not the lens...just the body but still....HOT!

Of course since we purchased this wonderful marvel of modern technology we had to test it. So we planned a trip to Mt. St. Helens to see if the mountain was still blowed up. So check it out yo…ok actually, check out the first test shots. Look at this beautiful woman:This is the first official shot ever taken with this camera. I think it’s a lovely start. So tell me this, what would you like to see first with this beautiful photographic instrument…Pictures of plants you say? Sure…here you go:

I know, right…so sharp it cuts your eyeballs! Right. Anyhow, we have a tendency to be very late whenever we try to go on day trips so we didn’t actually leave until almost 11am even though we were aiming for 8. We took off up I5 past Vancouver and stopped to get Coffee and “breakfast” at this dreadful little slice of chain store Washinton…didn’t even bother to remember the name…it was lousy though. We got some over priced pastries and headed north. Made a pit stop in Woodland and saw the lake and then on up to 504 east to the volcano. For some reason when we got to the tourise center I wanted to walk up behind tourists and say (in a german accent), “Z mountain es BROKE” just to see how people would look at me. Ali told me that she wouldn’t be my friend anymore if I did that…so I only did it once and she walked away…I apologized and the day went on. The first pictures of the mountain weren’t so great but here are a couple shots.Yep, that’s the mountain. Ali read all of the history at the visitor’s center regarding the area and the explosion so I will have to defer to her on those matters:

We made friends with these wax lumberjacks. They were working hard, but gave us permission for a photo or two.

I think over all we were a bit disappointed with the mountain. I have been fascinated by it since we moved here but it just wasn’t as dramatic as I had hoped and there were SO MANY LOUD PARENTS. We were sitting by this lake:

And a woman, man and baby walked up about 35 feet away and started singing the ABCs REALLY LOUDLY to get the baby to smile or coo or something. No big deal…except that it went on for five full cycles of the ABCs and then they clapped and coo’ed at the baby. This child was looking at her parents like, “seriously? I dont even want to be associated with you people.” Ali and I are chillin in the serene wilderness completely concurring with the baby and wondering how long it would take us to freeze to death in the “Coldwater Lake” just to make the pain go away. Right. It was that obnoxious. Now, I’m not the most patient man alive…but seriously…there were about ten thousand parents and children everywhere we went and all of the parents, for some reason, insisted on involving us in their lives by being extremely loud. Next time they should let their kids come by themselves because the kids were much better behaved than their parents.

I’m done with that rant…just so you know. I apologize for my negativity. Here’s another picture of the lake:

What on earth is this strange guy doing on the fallen tree? The answer: Yoga. I took it up recently to get in touch with my Chi. So far I have a slipped disk and a sore neck…no Chi.

After this we headed for home somewhat disappointed by the half mountain. We pulled out a map on our way out and realized that our disappointment was due to us going up the wrong road…the one that doesnt actually lead to the mountain but to a place on the other side….were weren’t even close. It was a really great day though. We haven’t gotten out of the city since my parents were here. Too long.  It’s good to get away from the busy city to spend time with the same exact crowds of people in a mountainous setting…Right. It was really fun though. We had dinner outside on the porch of an excellant greek restaurant call Hidden House in Vancouver, WA on our way home. Then we rented movies for the evening and relaxed. The new camera is the BOMB. Oh, I almost forgot, we stopped the Lilac Gardens on the way home…here’s a picture or two:

I hope this entry has unwittingly brought you into the adventures of our last few days. Next time wont you join us in person? I would close by saying happy Memorial Day, but that doesn’t seem appropriate considering the purpose of the holiday. God bless America. That just came accross snarky. See ya later.

Centerpieces: Bethany and I found tealights and tealight holders for a great price at Ikea.  We bought periwinkle rose petals at Michael’s.  And tonight (during our wedding movie marathon) we’re going to work on making the wire picture holders for the table name cards which will go in vases with little, colored glass beads.

The Aisle: My dad bought my aisle runner at home and Bethany and I found some tulle today to drape from chair to chair.  Now we just need some periwinkle wired ribbon to make bows!

The Honeymoon: We booked our hotels and our rental car!  Check it out:  Two nights at the Inn at Mama’s Fish House, then we’ll drive to Hana and spend two nights at the Bamboo Inn, two nights in the middle of the island by Haleakala at the Kula View Bed and Breakfast, and then four nights at the Mauian!  We also finally booked our plane tickets home!

The Cake: Unfortunately our original cake baker has a conflict in her schedule, so I’m looking into other options.  Let me know if you know of an inexpensive pastry chef in Columbus!  But, I’ve made some connections, and I’m sure like something will work out!

The Bridal Shower:  That’s the best part so far!  Bethany, who is the maid of honor, through the most amazing bridal shower!  Bethany and Bethany (yes, that’s right) made Rob’s apartment look spectacular.  Everything was perfect, right down to the beautiful pink swirly wedding gown napkins and plates!  Elena made the most beautiful cake I have ever seen.  There were so many people I care about in one room!  I was really excited that I got the apron I wanted and cooked in it that night!  And I got the ladybug mixing bowls I was hoping for too!  We played a game where I had to chew a piece of gum for everything question I missed about Rob.  13 pieces!  Oops!  Anyhow, here are the highlights:

The Hostesses

Twin Picture

Just a few of my best girlfriends

CWS Ladies

Home Community Ladies

With the Bridesmaids

Okay, back to the movie marathon…just finished 27 Dresses, currently watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding, next up Muriel’s Wedding.